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i've been neglecting my blog for a few days...i've just had so much to do every single day that i just didn't have the time to get online. if i was online it had something to do with wedding crap. haha yes i am now referring to it as "crap" because that is what it is.... don't get me wrong i enjoy all the little details that come with planning a wedding..but who came up with all this back in the day? and why did we let it get this far out of hand. have you ever watched that show on television "platinum weddings" oh my....if you took all the money that you put into that "one" day you could probably send like hours of electricity to hundreds of houses. it's insane the amount of money they spend on there. so anyways..yes i'm referring to it as "crap."

so justin and i went to the annual sullivan county 4-h fair demolition derby this friday. i enjoyed it as usual. i actually miss justin running in it...at first like 5 years ago when he decided he wanted to do it i always secretly hated that he ran in the derbys because i was always so worried about him getting hurt... but he hasn't did it for the past 3 years because we just didn't have the money or time to buy and fix up a car. but i will have to say i actually missed watching him run in it this year. i didn't go to the derby last year because i was at the nickelback/daughtry/staind concert in indianapolis so i didn't really "miss" it but this year being there and having the emotions of watching darrin and uncle ray run....i really missed jc being out there. i was like the "proud" girlfriend who even thought he didn't win his car looked awesome (thanks to my awesome artwork/paint job) and he looked awesome out there doing it. i miss being the "proud" girlfriend. i get that pleasure when i'm at his softball games...because of course when he makes an awesome play or something... i can perk up and be like "that's my boyfriend" but he really hasn't played much ball this year he's mostly been umpiring to make extra money to help pay for the wedding... wow....did i just sound almost sad that he hasn't been playing ball EVERY weekend....for 9 - 12 hours a day....and did i just complain because i didn't have to sit out in 95+ degree weather in a lawn chair getting toasted in the hot sun for 10-12 hours a day.. what am i thinking??? but yes..i actually miss watching him play ball for 25 hours in a weekend... and yes i kind of actually miss my weekends flying by being consumed by softball... but i would never admit that to him. hehe i am the one who sits at the softball diamond saying "oh my god its hot" "oh my god i'm sweating and all i'm doing is sitting here" .....etc..... i'm sure after the wedding is all said and done..it will be back to days at the diamond....so i really need to enjoy this time now.. hehe because soon my posts will not be full of wedding "crap" but be full of softball "crap."

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so...16 days to go... i'm so excited. everything is working out good. JC is scheduled to umpire this weekend in Bloomington. if the weather holds up that is... which if he does umpire he'll make about $200-$250 which will finish up his part of the wedding..then all i have left to pay for is the rest of the hair & make-up for me and the 4 bridesmaids... which is about $300 more. tomorrow nite i'm ordering my biodegradable plates, cups, napkins, & forks... hopefully they'll be here in time. if i order them tomorrow nite that gives them exactly 2 weeksto get them to me. so let's hope that's enough time... i am so glad we decided to do a "green" wedding....(green in more way than one...) i'm so excited of course for the actual wedding but i'm also excited to not only share our love with everyone but to share my view on the environment and to show people all you have to do is just change a few things that you do and it makes a HUGE difference. and i know alot of people are like.."i'm only one person.." yeah..but if everyone who is just "one person" does it that is a huge change... so i'm excited for people to see that perspective of the wedding too.. and if i get thru to just one person...that's one person...it's a start. and the whole "green" wedding has even opened my eyes some too.. compared to before.. i didn't realize how cheap it was to be environmentally friendly.. i thought you had to spend alot of extra money for the "green stuff" but you don't.

anyways....16 days to go..and still lots of stuff to do and organize. i know i'll get it done..i always do. as long as work doesn't kill me first.

oh well...i'm so in L O V E.....i can't wait til the wedding...whooo..

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last nite justin and i watched fireworks at the lake. they were pretty good...same as every year pretty much.. i enjoyed it of course just because i was with him. we ate and listened to the music and just waited for the show to start.... after sitting in traffic for about 30 minutes to get outta there we finally made it home and watched some track and field olympic trials. i love watching that stuff..so does jc of course because he hoped that one day he would be there... unfortunately due to injuries that just didn't happen but i have no doubt in my mind that he wouldn't have been there. sometimes things happen for a reason and you don't know that reason at that time...and sometimes you don't ever know the reason... i'd love for him to run at a competion level again...especially if that's what he wants to do..but he also does so much more...and we wanna have a family one day...so it would definately be hard balancing both....
the wedding is in 20 days and my mother continues to hound and bother me about it. i'm sorry...i don't want to think about that crap everyday...what kind of cups are we going to get? did we do this? are we gonna do that? who cares... i really don't care. especially on the weekends when jc and i are home together..all i want to do is relax and enjoy my time with him...because it's not every weekend we are home together.. alot of times he is working (umpiring) especially the next two weekends before the wedding..because we need that money to help with the wedding.
so i cleaned my entire house yesterday...from top to bottom. it was SO DIRTY. we had been so busy with work all week and then things after work and on the weekends that we just pushed stuff to the side.... so everything is cleaned....now i just need to get caught up on the laundry. we have less than 3 weeks until the wedding and from now on we have alot to do almost everyday...up until the day...so i don't want to have to be stressing about the house being cleaned or laundry being done... i want to stay caught up on everything that way i don't have to do any major stuff.. we especially need the laundry done so that we have clean stuff to pack for the honeymoon. hehe
we don't really have much stuff planned for today...going to sunday dinner at grandma's then we have a few trees to plant...then i think i'm gonna try and get some good pictures of lacey and bella and dq out in the backyard....then just relax and enjoy the day...

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so...i only have 21 days left until the wedding...and i have no money for the reception....i was planning on my dad throwing some money in but he decided not to...instead he said he'd rather just give us some money at the end of the nite for our honeymoon...he said he never spent alot of money on his other three kids weddings and that if he was working then he could work some overtime and have money..but with him being retired now he just can't do that... so i just said..okay and left it at that. what i really wanted to say was well...one of your kids was married twice, that's two weddings for her...one was married once but it was a really nice wedding....and i'm sure he paid money for that..and your son has been married 3 times...then i also wanted to say...well if your new "high matience" wife didn't make you take two cruises a year....move to florida and buy a house that you only live in 4 months of the year....then maybe you could share a little cash. don't get me wrong...my dad was very good to me when i was younger...and actually he's not my "biological" dad. he met my mom when she was pregnant with me and they got married when i was like two i think and he adopted me. i have no idea who my real dad is, never met him, and really don't care...because obviously he doesn't care. so i mean alot of the things i had when i was younger i owe it to him. BUT...unlike his other three children i am marrying to only marry once.. i'm only asking for your help once more.. i mean jc and i have been on our own for 4 years now.. and never once have i went back to my dad asking for help... saying "oh i lost my job....or oh i lost my house.. or oh please help me with this." and i go to him saying....hey we've already paid for everything else...i'm just asking with help on the food for the reception...i'm not asking for you to pay for it all even..i'm asking just give what you can...oh well...he just somewhat doesn't understand... like when i said that we got a dj...he was like "oh your going all out huh?" dude...that's what people do.. like he's older and his other three kids are older.. the youngest is 36 i'm 24...so yeah things are different now. they don't understand...they think a wedding is ... getting married at a church...having the reception at the church (their idea of a reception is cake and punch and opening gifts) umm...there's more to it.. so whatever..i'm not really stressing over it.. all that matters to me is that we get married that day. i don't care who shows up...i don't care if we get 100 gifts or no gifts.. i don't care what we have to eat or if we have anything to eat at all. i just want to get married....after the "i do's" i don't care... hehe ;o)
so...21 days until i'm Mrs. Copeland...i'm so effing excited...i just want it to be here.. like today.. it can't come fast enough...so jc is umpiring today...so my plans are cleaning the house and getting laundry done.. i may run down to walmart and print off some of our engagement pictures on their kodak picture machine.. and buy some picture frames.. i want to make a wall in our bedroom over our bed with our engagement pictures.. i love them all so much...then he'll be home no later than 6 and then we are going to the lake to watch fireworks. i can't wait...i love the 4th of july...well...time for me to start cleaning this place up i want everythign to be done..so the next 3 weeks i can concentrate on the wedding and us.